#1 You knowyou are an E-mail Junkie if:
1. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go tot he bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
2. You get a tatoo that reads: "This body best viewed with Netscape Navigator 2.0 or higher."
3. You name your children Eudora, Mozillia and Dotcom.
4. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, likeyou just pulled the plub on a loved one.
5. You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap .and your child in the overhead compartment.
6. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.
7. You start using smileys in your snail mail.
8. You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com.
9. All of your friends have an @in their names.
10. You can't call your father .he doesn't have a modem.
11. You check your mail. It says "No new messages" so you check it again.
# 2 The Country Preacher And a Bear
A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday and head to the hills to do some bear hunting. As he rounded the corner on a perilous twist of the trail, he and a bear collided, sending him and his rifle tumbling down the mountainside. Before he knew it, his rifle went one way and he went the other, landing on a rock and breaking both legs.
That was the good news.
The bad news was the freocious bear charging at him from a distance, and he couldn't move. "Oh, Lord," the preacher prayed, "I'm so sorry for skipping services today to come out here and hunt. Please forgive me and grant me just one wish .please make a Christian out of that bear that's coming at me. Please, Lord!"
That very instant, the bear skidded to a halt, fell to its knees, clasped its paws together and began to pray aloud right at the preacher's feet.
"Dear God, bless this food I am about to receive "
AND # 3
Some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue!
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