Getting Older and TGIF

1.  SOME GREAT THINGS ABOUT GETTING OLDER
a.. Finally you can eat dinner at 4:00 p.m.
b.. Your investment in health insurance is finally
         beginning to pay off.
c.. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
d.. It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges
        to stick.
e.. If you've never smoked, you can start now and it won't     
        have time to hurt you.
f.. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
g.. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they
       can't remember them either.
h.. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a
        manageable size.
i.. Your eyes won't get much worse.
j.. Adult diapers are actually kind of convenient.
k.. Things you buy now won't wear out.
l.. No one expects you to run into a burning building.
m.. There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
n.. Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
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2.  A business man got on an elevator in an big city office building.
When he entered the elevator, there was a young blonde already inside and
she greeted him by spelling out the abbreviation letters "T-G-I-F"
He smiled at her and replied "S-H-I-T".
She looked at him, puzzled, and said "T-G-I-F"
He acknowledged her remark again by answering "S-H-I-T.
The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her
biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I- F" another
time.
The man smiled back to her and once again replied with
a quizzical expression, "S-H-I-T".
The blond finally decided to explain things, and this
time she said, "T-G-I-F", T-hank G-oodness I-ts F-riday; get it?"
The man answered, "S-orry H-oney, I-t's T-hursday".

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