I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman "Where's the self-help
section?" She said that if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
I wonder if Adam ever said to Eve, "Watch it! There are plenty more ribs
where that one came from!"
Employment applications always ask who is to be notified in case of an
emergency. I think the appropriate answer should be ..... A Good Doctor/911.
Should women put pictures of their missing husbands on beer cans?
I was thinking about old age and decided that it is when you still have
something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.
I thought about making a movie for folks my age and calling it "Pumping
Rust."
I have found that at my age going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of my
face.
You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say "Oh, have you
got a cat?" Wouldn't it be fun to say, "NO. It's for the company."
If you jog backwards..... would you gain weight?
Wonder what they call a pocket calculator in a nudist colony?
You know those times when you look at your dog and he/she's sitting on the
floor at your feet, mouth open, tongue out, sort of panting - then suddenly
you get a whif of a nasty odor - is the dog laughing or also having a hard
time beathing?
Have a great day everyone!
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