USA Road Signs

 Hi Gang,
 A friend of mine posted these to me - thought I'd share them with you.
 You Americans say the darndest things!!!!!!!  -grin
  The following are actual signs seen across the good ol' U.S.A.
  At a Santa Fe gas station:
   "We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container."
  In a New York restaurant:
   "Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the
  manager."
  On the wall of a Baltimore estate:
   "Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
                                               --Sisters of Mercy"
  
  On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners:
   "38 years on the same spot."
  
  In a Los Angeles dance hall:
   "Good clean dancing every night but Sunday."
  
  In a Florida maternity ward:
   "No children allowed."
  
  In a New York drugstore:
   "We dispense with accuracy."
  
  In the offices of a loan company:
   "Ask about our plans for owning your home."
  
  In a New York medical building:
   "Mental Health Prevention Center"
  
  On a New York convalescent home:
   "For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church."
  
  On a Maine shop:
   "Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and
    workmanship."
  
  At a number of military bases:
   "Restricted to unauthorized personnel."
  
  On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards:
   "Now available in multi-packs."
  
  In the window of a Kentucky appliance store:
   "Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work."
  
  In a funeral parlor:
   "Ask about our layaway plan."
  
  In a clothing store:
   "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks."
  
  In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store:
   "15 men's wool suits, $10. They won't last an hour!"
  
  On a shopping mall marquee:
   "Archery Tournament -- Ears pierced"
  
  Outside a country shop:
   "We buy junk and sell antiques."
  
  In the window of an Oregon store:
   "Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?"
  
  In a Maine restaurant:
   "Open 7 days a week and weekends."
  
  On a radiator repair garage:
   "Best place to take a leak."
  
  In the vestry of a New England church:
   "Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light
   is extinguished."
  
  In a Pennsylvania cemetery:
   "Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own
  graves."
  
  On a roller coaster:
   "Watch your head."
  
  On the grounds of a public school:
   "No trespassing without permission."
  
  On a Tennessee highway:
   "When this sign is under water, this road is impassable."
 
 Anyone got any good Aussie jokes?
 
 T.T.F.N.
 
 Pat.
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