Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
   If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
   If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
   If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
   If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want.  Just
   stay on the line so we can trace the call.
   If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you
   which number to press.
   If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press.
    No one     will answer. 
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