Medical Terms, Redneck
Although I usually avoid posting and reading humor, the following
medical terminology was passed to me by oncology nurse
practitioner and may be useful with some doctors.
Thought you would get a laugh from these.
REDNECK MEDICAL TERMS
Benign What you be after you be eight.
Artery The study of paintings.
Bacteria Back door to cafeteria.
Barium What doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean Section A neighborhood in Rome.
CAT Scan Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize Made eye contact with her.
Coma A punctuation mark.
D&C Where Washington is.
Dilate To live long.
Enema Not a friend.
Fester Quicker than someone else.
Fibula A small lie.
Genital Non-Jewish person.
G. I. Series World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail What you hang your coat on.
Impotent Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff A Doctor's cane.
Morbid A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates Cheaper than day rates.
Node Something ya knew all along.
Outpatient A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear A slur against yer Daddy's honor.
Pelvis Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative A letter carrier.
Recovery Room Place to do re-upholstery.
Rectum Damn near totaled the pick-up.
Secretion Hiding something.
Seizure Roman emperor.
Tablet A small table.
Terminal Illness Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor More than one.
Urine Opposite of "yer out."
Varicose Near by/close by.
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