- My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last:
- Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food and good companionship. She goes Tuesday's, I go Fridays.
- We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida and mine is in Cincinnati.
- I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
- I asked my wife where she wanted to go for out anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. I suggested the kitchen.
- We always hold hands. If I let go she shops.
- She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric breadmaker.
- Then she said, "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down." So I bought her an electric chair.
- My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me, "In the lake."
- My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but BOY can she climb a tree now.
- She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
- She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"
- Remember...Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. Statistically, 100% of all divorces started with marriage.
- I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
- I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
- The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said,"Dust!"
- In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
- Why do men die before their wives? Cause they want to.
This page created and maintained by Dave Palmer
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