Said in court

 Check these out... Unbelievable, but these are from a book called
"Disorder  in the Court." These are things people actually said in court, 
word for  word:
  Q: What is your date of birth?
  A: July fifteenth.
  Q: What year?
  A: Every year.
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  Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
  A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
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  Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
  A: Yes.
  Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
  A: I forget.
  Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've
       forgotten?
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   Q: How old is your son, the one living with you.
   A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
   Q: How long has he lived with you?
   A: Forty-five years.
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   Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke
      that   morning?
   A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
   Q: And why did that upset you?
   A: My name is Susan.
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   Q: And where was the location of the accident?
   A: Approximately milepost 499.
   Q: And where is milepost 499?
   A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
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   Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
   A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
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   Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
   A: After the accident?
   Q: Before the accident.
   A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.
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   Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or
      the  occult?
   A: We both do.
   Q: Voodoo?
   A: We do.
   Q: You do?
   A: Yes, voodoo.
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   Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue
      lights  flashing?
   A: Yes.
   Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
   A: Yes, sir.
   Q: What did she say?
   A: What disco am I at?
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   Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,
      he  doesn't know about it until the next morning?
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   Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
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   Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
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   Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
   A: Yes.
   Q: And what were you doing at that time?
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   Q: She had three children, right?
   A: Yes.
   Q: How many were boys?
   A: None.
   Q: Were there any girls?
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   Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
   A: Yes.
   Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
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   Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
   A: By death.
   Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
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   Q: Can you describe the individual?
   A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
   Q: Was this a male, or a female?
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   Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
      notice    which I sent to your attorney?
   A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
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   Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
   A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
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   Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
   A: Oral.
   ---------------------------------------------
   Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
   A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
   Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
   A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
      autopsy.
   ---------------------------------------------
   Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
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   Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
      pulse?
   A: No.
   Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
   A: No.
   Q: Did you check for breathing?
   A: No.
   Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
      began the  autopsy?
   A: No.
   Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
   A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
   Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
   A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing
      law  somewhere. 

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