Kids kids and more kids

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's
artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she
asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The
teacher paused and said, "but no one knows what God looks like. "Without
missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, "They
will in a minute."
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her 5
and 6 year-olds. After explaining the commandment "Honor thy Father and
thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to
treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy
answered, "Thou shall not kill."
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An honest 7-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had
kissed her after class. "How did that happen?," gasped her mother. "It
wasn't easy," admitted the young lady,"but three girls helped me catch
him."
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes
at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several
strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She
looked at her mother and inquisitively asked,"Why are some of your hairs
white, Mom? Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something
wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The
little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,
"Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A 3-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning
home, he breathlessly informed his mother that there were two boy
kittens and two girl kittens. "How did you know?" his mother asked.
"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's
printed on the bottom."
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how
nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say:
"There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer, or that's Michael. He's a doctor." A
small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher.
She's dead".
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to
make the matter clearer, he said, "Now, boys, if I stood on my head, the
blood, as you know would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then why is it that while I am standing
upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A
little fellow shouted, "'Cause yer feet ain't empty."
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For weeks, a 6-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about
the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the
mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The
6-year old was obviously impressed, but he made no comment. Furthermore,
he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event. The teacher
finally sat the boy on her lap and said, "Tommy, whatever became of that
baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?" Tommy burst into
tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone
has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from the
back of the room asked,"How will that help?"
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I was six months pregnant with my third child,my three year old
came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.
She said, Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember
Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied, "but what
is growing in your butt?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(-Back to home page-)