Chickens and Roads, your choice
Nothing is really as simple as it first seems ... Kermit the Frog
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
PLATO: For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE: It is in the nature of chickens to cross roads.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let
ANDERSON CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was
threatening it's dominant market position. The chicken was faced with
significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required
for the newly competitive market. Anderson Consulting, in a partnering
relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking it's
physical distribution strategy and implementation process. Using the
Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Anderson helped the chicken use it's
skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the
chickens people, processes and technology in support of it's overall
strategy within a Program Management framework. Anderson Consulting
convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens
along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation
industry to engage in a two day itinerary of meetings in order to
leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and
to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the
implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and
implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of
poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like
setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was
strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent,
clear and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission,
vision and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a
total business integration solution.
RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
NEIL ARMSTRONG: One small step for chickens crossing the road and one
giant leap for chickens everywhere
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The
chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be
free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and he said unto the
chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road,
and there was much rejoicing.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many
more chickens have to cross the road for you to believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON: Let me make this perfectly clear. The chicken did
not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken DID NOT cross the road.
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Intent is
unimportant. The end of achieving the other side justifies the means of
NIETZSCHE: Chicken is dead.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross the road? I mean, why doesn't
anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was the chicken doing
wandering around all over the place anyway?"
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed
the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000 (with
integrated Internet Seed Explorer), which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
STEVE JOBS: We invented the chicken.
BORIS YELTSIN: No! WE invented the chicken.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the
road?" Rather, it is, "Who is crossing the road at the same time, whom
we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally
selected in such a way that they are genetically disposed to cross
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved
beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking the question denies your own chicken nature.
JOHN F. KENNEDY: Ask not what the chicken can do for you but rather
what you can do for the chicken.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road... it
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
BILL CLINTON: I never had any sexual relationship or any other
relationship with chickens who crossed the road or didn't cross the
road. Now I have to get back to the business of running the country.
Monica, can you stay a minute?
KENNETH STARR: I plan to subpoena the chicken and get to the bottom of
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