Lawyers and Bears

If you are considering doing some camping this Spring and 
Summer, please note the following public service 
announcement:
In Alaska, tourists are warned to wear tiny bells on their 
clothing when hiking in bear country.
The bells warn away MOST bears (grizzly, black, etc.) but be 
careful because they don't scare Kodiak/brown bears.
Tourists are cautioned to watch the ground on the trail, paying
particular attention to bear droppings to be alert for the 
presence of Kodiak/brown bears.
One can easily spot a Kodiak/brown bear's droppings. Those 
are the droppings that contain those tiny bells.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between 
them a young man in a three-piece suit.
"This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter," said one.
"No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other.
And so they haggled before the King until he called for silence.
"Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall hew 
the young attorney in half. Each of you shall receive a half."
"Sounds good to me," said the first lady.
But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent 
blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him."
The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The attorney must
marry the first lady's daughter," he proclaimed.
"But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the king's
court.
"Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the 
TRUE mother-in-law."

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