Answers  given by 2nd grade school children to the following  questions: 

Why  did God make mothers? 
1.   She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape  is. 
2..   Mostly to clean the house. 
3.   To help us out of there when we were getting  born. 

How  did God make mothers? 
1.   He used dirt, just like for the rest of  us. 
2.   Magic plus super powers and a lot of  stirring.. 
3.   God made my mom just the same like he made me.  
      He just  used bigger parts. 

What  ingredients are mothers made of? 
1.   God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything  
     nice in the world and one dab of mean.. 
2.   They had to get their start from men's bones.  
       Then they  mostly use string, I think. 

Why  did God give you your mother and not some other  mom? 
1.   We're related. 
2.   God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like  me. 

What  kind of a little girl was your mom? 
1.   My mom has always been my mom and none of that other  stuff. 
2.   I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be  pretty bossy. 
3.   They say she used to be nice. 

What  did mom need to know about dad before she married  him? 
1.   His last name. 
2.   She had to know his background.  
      Like is he a crook?   Does he get drunk on beer? 
3.   Does he make at least $800 a year?  
      Did he say NO to drugs  and YES to chores? 

Why  did your mom marry your dad? 
1.   My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world.  
     And my mom  eats a lot 
2..   She got too old to do anything else with  him. 
3.   My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap  on. 

Who's  the boss at your house? 
1.   Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because 
     dad's such a  goof ball.. 
2.   Mom..  You can tell by room inspection.  She sees the  
      stuff under the bed. 
3.   I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than  dad. 

What's  the difference between moms and dads? 
1.   Moms work at work and work at home and dads 
      just go to work at  work. 
2.   Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring  them. 
3.   Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power  
      'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at 
       your  friends. 
4.   Moms have magic, they make you feel better without  medicine. 

What  does your mom do in her spare time? 
1.   Mothers don't do spare time. 
2.   To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day  long.. 

What  would it take to make your mom perfect? 
1.   On the inside she's already perfect.  Outside, 
     I think some  kind of plastic surgery. 
2.   Diet.  You know, her hair.  I'd diet, maybe  blue. 

If  you could change one thing about your mom, what would it  be? 
1.   She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean.   
      I'd get rid of that. 
2.   I'd make my mom smarter.  Then she would know it was my  
      sister who did it not me. 
3.   I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the  
      back of her head. 

This page created and maintained by Dave Palmer

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