Land that made me, me

A 1950's message that will take your mind to a place long ago and far away. . .
(I have no idea who put this together, but it's clever and and a bit introspective)

  • Long ago and far away, in a land that time forgot,
  • Before the days of Dylan, or the dawn of Camelot.
  • There lived a race of innocents, and they were you and me,
  • For Ike was in the White House in that land where we were born,
  • Where navels were for oranges, and Peyton Place was porn.
  • We learned to gut a muffler, we washed our hair at dawn,
  • We spread our crinolines to dry in circles on the lawn.
  • We longed for love and romance, and waited for our Prince,
  • And Eddie Fisher married Liz, and no one's seen him since.
  • We danced to 'Little Darlin,' and sang to 'Stagger Lee'
  • And cried for Buddy Holly in the Land That Made Me, Me.
  • Only girls wore earrings then, and 3 was one too many,
  • And only boys wore flat-top cuts, except for Jean McKinney.
  • And only in our wildest dreams did we expect to see
  • A boy named George with Lipstick, in the Land That Made Me, Me.
  • We fell for Frankie Avalon, Annette was oh, so nice,
  • And when they made a movie, they never made it twice.
  • We didn't have a Star Trek Five, or Psycho Two and Three,
  • Or Rocky-Rambo Twenty in the Land That Made Me, Me.
  • Miss Kitty had a heart of gold, and Chester had a limp,
  • And Reagan was a Democrat whose co-star was a chimp.
  • We had a Mr. Wizard, but not a Mr. T,
  • And Oprah couldn't talk yet, in the Land That Made Me, Me.
  • We had our share of heroes, we never thought they'd go,
  • At least not Bobby Darin, or Marilyn Monroe.
  • For youth was still eternal, and life was yet to be,
  • And Elvis was forever in the Land That Made Me, Me.
  • We'd never seen the rock band that was Grateful to be Dead,
  • And Airplanes weren't named Jefferson , and Zeppelins were not Led.
  • And Beatles lived in gardens then, and Monkees lived in trees,
  • Madonna was Mary in the Land That Made Me, Me.
  • We'd never heard of microwaves, or telephones in cars,
  • And babies might be bottle-fed, but they were not grown in jars.
  • And pumping iron got wrinkles out, and 'gay' meant fancy-free,
  • And dorms were never co-ed in the Land That Made Me, Me.
  • We hadn't seen enough of jets to talk about the lag,
  • And microchips were what was left at the bottom of the bag.
  • And hardware was a box of nails, and bytes came from a flea,
  • And rocket ships were fiction in the Land That Made Me, Me.
  • Buicks came with portholes, and side shows came with freaks,
  • And bathing suits came big enough to cover both your cheeks.
  • And Coke came just in bottles, and skirts below the knee,
  • And Castro came to power near the Land That Made Me, Me.
  • We had no Crest with Fluoride, we had no Hill Street Blues,
  • We had no patterned pantyhose or Lipton herbal tea
  • Or prime-time ads for those dysfunctions in the Land That Made Me, Me.
  • There were no golden arches, no Perrier to chill,
  • And fish were not called Wanda , and cats were not called Bill.
  • And middle-aged was 35 and old was forty-three,
  • And ancient were our parents in the Land That Made Me, Me.
  • But all things have a season, or so we've heard them say,
  • And now instead of Maybelline we swear by Retin-A.
  • They send us invitations to join AARP,
  • We've come a long way, baby, from the Land That Made Me, Me.
  • So now we face a brave new world in slightly larger jeans,
  • And wonder why they're using smaller print in magazines.
  • And we tell our children's children of the way it used to be,
  • Long ago and far away in the Land That Made Me, Me.
  • For those of you too young to remember Bob Hope,
  • . . .Ask your Grandparents who he was and what he was like.
  • And thanks for the memories. . .

This page created and maintained by Dave Palmer

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