Black November

  • When I was a young turkey,
  • New to the coop,
  • My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop,
  • Then he sat me down,
  • And he spoke real slow,
  • And he told me there was something that I had to know;
  • His look and his tone I will always remember,
  • When he told me of the horrors of..... Black November;
  • "Come about August, now listen to me,
  • Each day you'll get six meals instead of just three,
  • And soon you'll be thick, where once you were thin,
  • And you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin;
  • "And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed,
  • In'll burst the farmer's wife, and hack off your head;
  • Then she'll pluck out all your feathers so you're bald 'n pink,
  • And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin' in the sink;
  • And then comes the worst part!" he said not bluffing,
  • She'll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing".
  • Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
  • I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat,
  • And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
  • I'd have to lay low and remain overlooked;
  • I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
  • High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola;
  • And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
  • I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes;
  • I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
  • And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;
  • But 'twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
  • As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death;
  • And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
  • I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;
  • So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap;
  • I haven't a worry! , so I eat and I nap;
  • She held me today, while sewing and humming,
  • And smiled at me and said: "Christmas is coming..."

  • This page created and maintained by Dave Palmer

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