(Proofreading  is a dying art, would you say?)  

Man  Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and  Daughter
Something  Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No,  really? Ya think?
Police  Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers 
Now that's taking things a bit far!
------------------------------  -----------------------------
Panda  Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over 
What a guy!  
Miners  Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing'  lazy so-and-so's!
Juvenile  Court to Try Shooting Defendant 
See  if that works any better than a fair trial!
War  Dims Hope for Peace 
I  can see where it might have that effect!
;If  Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last  Awhile
Ya  think?!
Cold  Wave Linked to Temperatures <  /B>
Who would have thought!
Enfield (   London  ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect  Homicide    
They  may be on to something!
Red  Tape Holds Up New Bridges 
You mean there's something stronger than duct  tape?  
-----------------  --------- --------------------------------
Man  Struck By Lightning: Faces  Battery Charge 
He probably IS the battery charge!
New  Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test  Group 
Aeren't  they fat enough?!
Astronaut  Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft 
That's  what he gets for eating those beans!
-  ------------------------------------------------ 
Kids  Make Nutritious Snacks 
Do they taste like chicken?
Local   High School Dropouts Cut  in Half 
Chainsaw Massacre all over  again!
Hospitals  are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors 
Boy, are they tall! 
And  the winner is.... 
Typhoon  Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I  read that right?  

This page created and maintained by Dave Palmer

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