Seniors

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. 
'Is it true,' she wanted to know, 
'that the medication you prescribed has 
to be taken for the rest of my life?''
'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her. 
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, 
'I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition 
because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS.'' 
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An older gentleman was on the operating table 
awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, 
a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. 
As he was about to get the anesthesia 
he asked to speak to his son. 
'Yes, Dad, what is it?'
'Don't be nervous, son; 
do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, 
if something happens to me, your mother is going to come 
and live with you and your wife....' 
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Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you 
stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. 
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The older we get, the fewer things seem 
worth waiting in line for. 
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Some people try to turn back their odometers. 
Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. 
I've traveled a long way and some of the 
roads weren't paved. 
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When you are dissatisfied and would 
like to go back to youth, 
think of Algebra class. 
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You know you are getting old when everything 
either dries up or leaks. 
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I don't know how I got over the hill 
without getting to the top. 
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One of the many things no one tells you about aging 
is that it is such a nice change from being young. 
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Ah, being young is beautiful, 
but being old is comfortable. 
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. 
Then you forget to pull up your zipper. 
But it's worse when you forget to pull it down. 
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Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground 
with sticks, it was called witchcraft . 
Today, it's called golf.
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Lord, 
Keep your arm around my shoulder 
and your hand over my mouth...AMEN..