Mp>I planted some bird seed....
- I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
- I had amnesia once -- or twice.
- I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?
- Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
- All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
- If the world was a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.
- What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
- They told me I was gullible and I believed them.
- Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
- Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
- One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
- My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.
- I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
- The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
- How can there be self-help "groups"?
- If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
- Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
- Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
This page created and maintained by Dave Palmer
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