Laws of the Natural Universe  

Law of Mechanical Repair:
 After your hands become coated with grease, your  
nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
Law of the Workshop:
 Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least  
accessible corner.
Law of Probability:
 The probability of being watched is directly proportional 
 to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone:
 If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy  
Variation Law:
 If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in  
will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath:
 When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone  
Law of Close Encounters:
 The probability of meeting someone you know  
increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result:
 When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't  
work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics:
 The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to  
the reach.
Law of the Theatre:
 At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from  
the aisle arrive last.
Murphy's Law of Lockers:
 If there are only two people in a locker room, they  
will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Rugs/Carpets:
 The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face 
 down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of 
the  carpet/rug.
Law of Location:
 No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of Logical Argument:
 Anything is possible if you don't know what you are  
talking about.
CeeGee's Law:
 As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will  
stop making it.

This page created and maintained by Dave Palmer

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