19 WAYS TO MAINTAIN YOUR INSANITY: 
1. At Lunch Time, Sit in your parked car with
   sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at
   passing cars.  See if they slow down 
2.  Page yourself over the intercom.  Don't
    disguise your voice. 
3. Every time someone asks you to do something,
   Ask if they want fries with that. 
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label
   it "In." 
5.  Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks.
    Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine
    addictions, switch to Espresso. 
6.  In the memo field of all your checks, write
    " For sexual Favors." 
7.  Finish all your sentences with; "In
    accordance with the prophecy." 
8.  Don't use any punctuation. 
9.  As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 
10.  Ask people what sex they are. Laugh
     hysterically after they answer. 
11.  Specify that your drive-through Order is
      " To go." 
12.  Sing along at the opera. 
13.  Go to a poetry recital and ask why the
     poems don't rhyme. 
14.  Put mosquito netting around your work area
     and play tropical sounds all day. 
15.  Five days in advance, tell your friends you
     can't attend their party because you're not
     in the mood. 
16.  Have your co-workers address you by your
     wrestling name, Rock-Hard. 
17.  When the money comes out of the ATM, scream
      " I Won! I Won!" 
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards
    the parking lot, yelling "Run for your
    lives, They're loose!!" 
19.  Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the
     economy, we are going to have to let one of
     you go

This page created and maintained by Dave Palmer
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