The Benefits of Aging:
 A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know,
"that the medication you prescribed has
to be taken for the rest of my life?"
"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied,
"I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition
because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."
 An older Jewish gentleman was on the operating table
awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,
a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia
he asked to speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad, what is it?"   "Don't be nervous, son;
do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well,
if something happens to me ..
your mother is going to come
and live with you and your wife...."
 Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you
stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
The older we get, the fewer things seem
worth waiting in line for
 Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of the
roads weren't paved.
 How old would you be
if you didn't know how old you are?
When you are dissatisfied and would
like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
 You know you are getting old when everything
either dries up or leaks.
I don't know how I got over the hill
without getting to the top.
 One of the many things no one tells you about aging
is that it is such a nice change from being young.
 Ah, being young is beautiful,
but being old is comfortable.
 Old age is when former classmates are so gray
and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.
 If you don't learn to laugh at trouble,
you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.
First you forget names, then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
 Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground
with sticks, it was called witchcraft..
Today, it's called golf
Two women met for the first time since graduating from high school.
One asked the other, "You were always so organized in school,
Did you manage to live a well planned life? "
" Yes," said her friend.
"My first marriage was to a millionaire;
my second marriage was to an actor;
my third marriage was to a preacher;
and now I'm married to an undertaker."
Her friend asked,
"What do those marriages have to do with a well planned life?"
"One for the money,
two for the show, 
three to get ready,
and four to go."

This page created and maintained by Dave Palmer
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