This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior submitted to Wal-Mart in Arkansas ... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Hillbilly George.  
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person (or one who'll  
cooperate).  
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President.  
But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be  
picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.  
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a  
Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible,  
make an offer and we can haggle.  
EDUCATION: Yes.  
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.  
SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.  
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of  
stolen pens and post-it notes.  
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.  
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.  
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p. m. Monday, Tuesday,  
and Thursday..  
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they're  
better suited to a more intimate environment.  
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had  
one, would I be here?  
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD  
PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 Lbs.?  Of what?  
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate  
question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"  
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR  
RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers  
Clearing house Sweepstakes.  
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks no.  
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:  
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy  
blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since  
sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.  
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE  
TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.  
SIGN HERE:

This page created and maintained by Dave Palmer
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