The Washington Post published (in 2002) a contest for readers in which they were asked to supply alternate meanings for various words.
The following were some of the winning entries:
- Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
- Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
- Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
- Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
- Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent
- Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
- Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
- Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
- Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
- Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
- Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
- Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
- Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
- Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
- Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
- Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
This page created and maintained by Dave Palmer
(-Back to home page-)